You work out of a Hotel?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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