Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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