This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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