doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
