Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
