I like to think it a success when the cops are called
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
