So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
