so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Let's paint friendship bongs
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
