If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
that is very illegal...i love you.
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