I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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