I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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