I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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