You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Panties = found
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