So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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