Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize