mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.