Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(480): View more from Arizona

There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone

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(480): There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone http://tfl.nu/wpdv

Replies (38) Good night (776) Bad night (1884)
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(585): View more from New York

i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW

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(585): i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW http://tfl.nu/w5kh

Replies (48) Good night (704) Bad night (3871)
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(609): View more from New Jersey

We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.

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(609): We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready. http://tfl.nu/9xou

Replies (33) Good night (7860) Bad night (798)
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(708): View more from Illinois

My lips are sealed. Both pairs.

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(708): My lips are sealed. Both pairs. http://tfl.nu/26rg

Replies (11) Good night (3330) Bad night (1118)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.

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(610): Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud. http://tfl.nu/pb1f

Replies (8) Good night (2552) Bad night (870)
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(541): View more from Oregon

I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.

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(541): I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work. http://tfl.nu/fnwr

Replies (4) Good night (1719) Bad night (1153)
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(804): View more from Virginia

Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.

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(804): Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience. http://tfl.nu/3o6t

Replies (7) Good night (756) Bad night (1628)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm hungry

(1-215): View more from Pennsylvania

Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex

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(215): I'm hungry (1-215): Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex http://tfl.nu/pt2l

Replies (4) Good night (2126) Bad night (567)
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(518): View more from New York

hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.

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(518): hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person. http://tfl.nu/wx7g

Replies (2) Good night (1057) Bad night (564)
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(519): View more from Ontario

You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.

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(519): You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew. http://tfl.nu/ni79

Replies (2) Good night (875) Bad night (392)
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(540): View more from Virginia

There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.

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(540): There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong. http://tfl.nu/f8bz

Replies (1) Good night (959) Bad night (345)
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(773): View more from Illinois

i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.

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(773): i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive. http://tfl.nu/jzd0

Replies (1) Good night (326) Bad night (585)
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(319): View more from Iowa

I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.

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(319): I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it. http://tfl.nu/c71w

Replies (3) Good night (781) Bad night (474)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.

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(732): He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement. http://tfl.nu/8vmd

Replies (2) Good night (209) Bad night (444)
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(765): View more from Indiana

A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase

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(765): A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase http://tfl.nu/vp0d

Replies (2) Good night (201) Bad night (156)

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