you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
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