I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
