i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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