If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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