Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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