why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
