Moan for me like Helen Keller
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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