i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Randomize
