I wanna bring you to show and tell
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
