the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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