so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
