You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
