youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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