So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
i need to put some appletini on your dick
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
