Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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