I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
