I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
