I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
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I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
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When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
The air taste purple.
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