Is it normal to miss your booty call?
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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