do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
