that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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