Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize