OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Randomize