Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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