Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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