Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
