Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
We had sex on a dog bed..
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
