Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
