Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
