So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
