When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
should my penis look like a turkey
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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