its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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