Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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