Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
farters have to be the big spoon...
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize