My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
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