Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
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