yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
