its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Randomize
