Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize