Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
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You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
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Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
the liver wants what the liver wants
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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