Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
