At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
