He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
No more Irish car bombs ever.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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