god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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