I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
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